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Prrrr-ping! AUDIENCE LAUGHS ALL LAUGH APPLAUSE CONTINUES Am I tall? “Yep. Am I a woman? “No. No. Are we a body part? “Yes. Someone’s bollocks. Whose bollocks are we? Am I a knob end? We’re a pair of ball bags, Nadia! “No, no. “Fearne is right. This’ll be a screenshot that’ll haunt us forever. LAUGHTER We’re Louis Walsh’s ball bags? LAUGHS “No, you’re right. Are we Ed Sheeran’s ball bags? “No. No. Are we Chris Kamara’s ball bags? “No. Whose ball bags ? Are we Simon Cowell’s ball bags? “YEAH! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Fearne and Nadia, everyone! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Next up to play is Ed Sheeran! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Good luck. Ed, I’m gonna transport your head onto another celebrity body now! Prrr-ta-ping! AUDIENCE LAUGHS FEARNE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God. “It’s really bad. “It’s really, really bad. Now, Chris. Chris. FEARNE: Who’s that? “Mate. Is this gonna make it on TV? Who is that? “Mate “Mate, I’ll be honest with you, there “is a large portion of this picture “that won’t make it on TV. AUDIENCE LAUGHS Am I someone’s bellend? “No. FEARNE: Er “NO! I’ll be honest with you, “you can’t see the bellend. ALL LAUGH Ed, just look down a second. Look down. There, that’s better. SHRIEKS OF LAUGHTER AUDIENCE APPLAUDS “Who the is that on the poster? It’s James Blunt. Is it James Blunt? FEARNE: I don’t know. Am I part of an orgy? “Possibly. Am I someone’s arsehole? No. “No. NADIA: No. No. Am I near someone’s penis? They’re closer to yours than you’re theirs. ALL LAUGH Am I, er, am I ready to put a penis in my mouth? AUDIENCE: Ah! “Oh! Am I putting my penis in someone’s mouth? “YAY! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Am I me getting a chewy from James Blunt? YEAH! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS That was good. “How did he know it was James Blunt? A proper gob job, innit? LAUGHTER Ed Sheeran, everyone! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Oh, right. “That’s good, man. Thank you, man. “How the did you get that? I watch this show a lot. ALL LAUGH It’s time for our final round, it’s the Buzzer round. CHEERING Buzz only if you know the answer, if you don’t know the answer, buzz in anyway and guess. What’s your buzzer, Ed? ‘Ha-ha-ha. stinky. Have you got ginger arsehole hair?’ ALL LAUGH Fearne, what’s your buzzer this week? ‘That’s why I’m taking you to boot camp.’ ALL LAUGH Here’s the first question. Who can do the best impression of Janet Street-Porter from Loose Women? ‘Ha-ha-ha. Ha! Ginger pubes!’ That’s Ed’s team. Chris Ramsey. Chris Ramsey? ” SPEAKS GIBBERISH AUDIENCE LAUGHS Louis? AS JANET STREET-PORTER I’m so intelligent. LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH Why is Louis Walsh looking so happy here? ‘Ginger tits!’ He’s finally got one of his finalists in the final of the X Factor. ALL LAUGH Good one, Ed. Let’s have a look. Let’s reveal. Sorry. No, it’s from the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. ” LAUGHS ALL LAUGH Ed, this is a question for you. ‘Ginger willy!’ AUDIENCE LAUGHS LAUGHS Do LAUGHS ‘Ginger willy!’ ALL LAUGH And, Louis, you know that happens every now and then.