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— was my husband’s brother who I was sleeping with. Could you please be quiet? People. This is . It’s . Did your husband know about Doug? Goodness, no. If he did, he’d kill us all. Fine, you got me, I did it. Yes! Case closed. Pharmaceuticals. Of course. Wait, what? Excuse me, I’m on the phone. One second. Yeah, as I was saying, I did it. I bought all the shares. Risky, maybe, but I believe pills are the future of medicine. Did you kill Doug? Oh, I killed Doug. You killed Doug. No, in the deal I killed Doug. Excuse me. Sorry, I can’t seem to follow it. Go ahead. Department of Underground Gaming– DOUG. Ever heard of it? I’ve never heard of it. So DOUG’s dead. I killed him. I stabbed him– –in the heart about times. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do it. All right, you seem like a cool dude. And don’t think you did it. Thanks bro. You, too. So-so can I go? Oh, yeah, get out of here, man. Doug used to write me the most wonderful love letters. “Dear Babs, you filthy , last night was amazing. I know you’re my brother’s wife, but like my hero, Cain, from that story, Cain and Abel, I hope to one day smash his head in with a rock and make you my own. Doug.” Such a sweetheart. Sweetheart? Whenever I was doing homework with my busty tutor, he’d come in and French her butthole. One time, at our sexy hot tub party, he held my head under water for so long I got the bends. It was all in good fun. It was probably my idea. According to the laws of science, it sounds like a lot of you had issues with Doug. Well I didn’t, of course. Never met him. Didn’t even know his last name. He was a Dangler. I spent two years banging Doug Dangler in space. I was a scientist in space, and Doug Dangler was in space, too. I loved him. But when we returned, as heroes, to Earth, he left me for another woman. And the worst part is, he dumped me with a letter. “Dear Dr. Bunny Van Clit, you filthy space .” There’s three people you can talk to– good cop, bad cop, and hot cop. And I got news for you. Good cop’s home with the flu, and bad cop took the day off to spend it with his kids, because he’s a bad cop, but he’s a hell of a dad.

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