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Delph Radio
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You’re gonna read the boner. I’m not. Well, let’s say I don’t get a boner and you can’t fall asleep because my flaccid is making you feel ugly. Jesus. Are you always this big of a spaz in bed? No. I just -I just don’t want to cuddle with you, okay? Cuddling doesn’t have to be sexual. It can be about feeling close to someone. I feel close enough to you over here. What if I’m big spoon? No. No. No. You’re not cradling my body. That’s horrifying. What about tickle scratching? What the is tickle scratching? We, like -We scratch each other’s backs in a gentle way, but it’s not weird. It’s like. What? Oh, God damn it. (EXHALES DEEPLY) Alice. What? I’ll do the wedding thing with you. Really? Yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh. (GROANS) Okay. Ben? Yeah. Can you feel my boner? No. Um, Paul. Oh, God. Great times. Paul, remember the late-night taco trips in college? We used to — I don’t know if you guys know. We used to go -We used to walk through the drive-through and, like, uh, and order. all of these tacos. Uh. you know? Uh. Sorry. I lost my place. (CHUCKLES) Oh, one second. (DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS) (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) (BEEP, LATCH CLICKS) Ugh. What is that smell? I tried to warn you. And look at this. It’s got two beds. (BRITISH ACCENT) My dear, look at this. Two whole beds for two human adults. (AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Yeah. Yeah, this chateau is marvelous. Benjy — What is this voice? What is it? It’s Australian. Is it? Yeah. Do you join me for some caviar on the veranda. (NORMAL VOICE) Whatever. This place is ing disgusting. I’m gonna change and go to the pool. Okay. (VEHICLES PING IN DISTANCE) Hey, man. Okay. WOMAN: Joshua. Joshua, will you not do that, please? You freak people out when you do that. That little er’s gonna kill someone someday. I just know it. You know, the other day, he asked me for my teeth so that he could eat them. (LAUGHS) I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. No. It’s fine. I do. I have a demon child. (LAUGHS) I’m Ellie, by the way. Hi. This is, uh, Maggie. Hey. I’m Alice. You here for the wedding? Yeah. You friends with Paul or Marissa? Uh, neither. I’m, uh, I’m that guy’s plus one.
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